First Things First: I Stalled For Years On This Blog to Avoid Slut-Shaming

For years my friends have told me to start a blog about sex and finally I’m womaning up and doing it.

However, I stalled on creating this blog because I was afraid of outting myself as a “freak.” The first step to promoting a blog is sharing it on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media but what will my family think? What will strangers think? Oh my friends already know the deal. But I can’t openly talk about sex with EVERYONE witnessing the conversation, how would I look? Slut-shaming isn’t just a thing people do to celebrities or enemies, it is a common situation most women face that I didn’t want to be the victim of. In case you don’t know what slut shaming is its the act of making someone, usually a woman, feel guilty or inferior, for having strong sexual desires, having “too many” sex partners, or acting or dressing in a way that is deemed excessively sexual, often by calling them a “slut” or other derogatory terms, sometimes just by implying that a person’s sexual “standards” are “too low” (i.e. that they are too sexually available).

But in all seriousness, what is the big deal about being frank when it comes sex? So what if I philosophize about  it? So what if I prefer to use colorful language when describing sex? So what if I enjoy a good fuck? Is the punishment to this crime that I’m now damaged goods to some mythological husband-prospect who I don’t know yet or will ever know? Or is the punishment really the slut-shame provided by close-minded individuals? (It’s the latter.)

As a woman, am I dwindled down into one giant orifice? Oh, I don’t think so. I am 22 years old, I will admit that I am not all the way grown yet but I am a mature young woman and my interest in sex shouldn’t still be taboo. This isn’t high school anymore. (Well, more open conversations about sex in high school should be more commonplace than it is right now.) I understand no matter what I say it will give others comfort to label me as a freak or slut but fuck it, I am an adult with urges. And curiosities. The same dirty urges and curiosities you have that you’re too conservative to admit but will read my articles in judgment (when its really that urge making you read ain’t it).But it’s cool. I’ll do your dirty work.


4 thoughts on “First Things First: I Stalled For Years On This Blog to Avoid Slut-Shaming

  1. Good on you, Natsai! There is absolutely nothing wrong with sex, and anyone who is slut shaming probably isn’t worth your time anyway.

  2. Pingback: Dear B and J, the Girls I Slut-Shamed « Confessions of a Latte Liberal

  3. This is great Natsai, your honesty is really refreshing. And you’ll find (pretty quickly on WordPress) that you’re definitely not alone.
    It’s a strange thing isn’t it, this shaming business? escorts cop a lot of it too … maybe we all just want to feel special, or BE special to someone and being ‘easy’ isn’t special enough.
    Maybe from a deep, dark, primal point of view, women shame other women because they are potentially seen as competition for the mate/s they would want for themselves. And for men, well, because they are hardwired to enjoy the chase and subsequent conquest. Both are ego-driven drives I know and very possibly hidden deep in the psyche, but, like any fruit, the ego has to mature and ripen, get plump and juicy before it can drop off the tree!

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